The Roller Coaster Continues...

What a day we have had!!  Derek, Gracie, and I are now settled into our hotel room--they are playing pla-dough, making some fabulous cakes--I am just wanting to catch you all up on what is going on.  If you are my facebook friend, you are probably confused!  Gracie has a little cough.  With her, nothing is ever just a little anything, however!  On Saturday morning, she woke up coughing.  I brought her right to the doctor because of the surgery coming up tomorrow.  She was put on an antibiotic and the nebulizer for a couple of days--feeling fine, just coughing.  Well, today the cough continues--it's much, much better, but still a cough.  Because of the surgery she is having, she needs healthy lungs--her cardiologist thought it might be better to just reschedule and have the surgery at a later date.  I let you all know!  We were bummed because it has been quite stressful getting ready for this surgery, but realized that must be what is best.  We cancelled our hotel rooms, called my mom to stay put for awhile, and just went with it.  Gracie's surgeon then had his PA call and told us to come right in.  We had to haul Gracie out of Toys R Us, which didn't necessarily go well, but we were off to St. Mary's.  After looking at her, he decided we should go ahead with the surgery.  Her lungs sound clear, she has no drainage of any kind, she is playing well and feeling terrific, just has a little cough.  So we are on for tomorrow! 

It has been quite a week!  We have been so stressed out about this surgery.  I'm going to be a little transparent here, but this past week I have had so many morbid thoughts, vivid dreams that scared my socks off, so many doubts creeping into my heart and mind--it's been tough.  I feel so responsible for this surgery.  There...I said it.  I have pushed and pushed to have this done.  The plan was for a much less risky surgery, but one that would only give her a little time, no fix.  This one is higher risk, yet for a fuller, perhaps longer life.  It's a tough call when it comes down to it--I was all ready for the higher risk surgery until the past few days--now we are staring it down, it's in our face...it's go time. 

But then something went on in my heart yesterday...perhaps it's because of the many people praying for our family, but I realized once again that I'm not pushing for anything, just wanting what is best for my little girl.  Again, the promises of Psalm 139 that God has all of Gracie's days written in His book--nothing we do is going to change that, no decision we make can trump His plan.  He has this all figured out--we prayed and we went where we felt we were being led to go--that's it.  I am so grateful for God's love for Gracie--my sweet friend reminded me yesterday that He loves her more than I do--I can't fathom that because my love for Gracie is complete and bursting.  But God...He loves even better, even more.  I hold onto that today.  For the past week, we have been holding her tighter, holding her longer, watching every move, just taking her in.  Shouldn't we be doing that all the time anyways?  Shouldn't that be how we love others?  Focus off of me and onto another.  It's all perspective, isn't it?

Well, this has been a lot of rambling.  Soon the rest of our crew will be joining us, along with my mom and her pumpking bread!  We are planning a huge pool party in the smallest pool I have ever seen!  Pizza and chicken wings are the food of choice by the patient--it's going to be a great night. 

I will try to update throughout the day as we hear from the surgeon.  He is still unsure of what this will all look like.  She will be on bypass for quite some time and they will stop her heart for a bit--always unnerving.  He really has no idea how long it will take--but has given her the entire day. 

Thank you so much for praying for Gracie.  There is no greater gift you could give our family!  We love you!

Gayle